"Je ne pourrais pas écrire que je la regardais au fond des yeux car ces yeux-là n'avaient pas de fond. Ils n'étaient qu'une surface noire, désespérément opaque, des yeux inhumains, de rapace ou de lynx, d'une dureté de marbre ou de météorite, qui me regardaient me ne me voyaient pas, qui ne m'aimaient pas, qui ne me m'aimeraient jamais, qui n'aimaient ni n'aimeraient jamais personne, des yeux d'un autre monde."
"I could not write that I was looking into the depth of her eyes because these eyes had no depth. They were nothing but a black surface, hopelessly opaque, inhuman eyes, of a wildcat or a lynx, with the lifespan of marble or of a meteorite, that looked at me but didn't see me, that didn't love me, that would never love me, that never loved and would never love anyone, otherworldly eyes."
Yes, the eye holds a power that fascinates poets and scientists alike, the power to bend light and recognize colors, shapes, dark and light, but also the power to import and export the emotions of the world around us and the emotions (or lack thereof) of our souls. Every study abroad student has many opportunities to exercise his or her sight- and to discover the lenses through which the rest of the world sees him or her, his or her country, and the country where he or she resides at present.
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| Maria...during the "journée du patrimoine" |
Thus we come to one of the most beautiful experiences of my study abroad experience: Maria's monologue. Maria of Colombia is "la classe," sunshine, art, tranquillity, love, wisdom, sadness, and above all, an artist. The monologue was an assignment for our oral expression class: to speak for five minutes about our first impressions of France, initial (or continual) difficulties, and how this experience so far had developed and deepened our knowledge of the culture. Knowing her love for this country despite her current frustrations, I expected from Maria a carefully crafted and thoughtful presentation regarding France and only France, likely filled with metaphors and descriptions, and accompanied by the beautiful spanish accent en français. She began as expected but quickly veered slightly off the subject and left me nearly in tears as she explained that the thing that most surprised her during this semester in France was how much she appreciates Americans now. She hated the United States when she went there- the system, the mode of living, the food... looking in the direction of the small group of Americans in the room, she said, "the United States has some very good people. I see now that what I expected to find in all Americans is perhaps more present in young French people." Although I have been struggling with all of the things that I don't like about the United States, this was a beautiful affirmation that we have gleaned some good from our very American backgrounds. Through the eyes of Maria, I momentarily saw my own country in a very different- and more positive- light than I have for most of my experience here, and my tears nearly escaped. Honored and filled with appreciation for my friend and the beautiful culture from which she came, all I could do was give some "bises" and say goodbye for fall break. There is much to see- new people and places of course, but now of all times I will not forget to continually look- and see anew- that which is or was my "norm"-beliefs, experiences, people.
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